Samurai Princess (2009) Review by James Mudge:

Samurai Princess (2009)

Short Review by James Mudge: More Japanese gore madness arrives from 4Digital Asia in the shapely form of “Samurai Princess”, the cover art not coincidently bearing a striking resemblance to that of its recent sister in slaughter, “Chanbara Beauty”. The film’s pedigree should certainly give fans of the form reason to be excited, with it having been directed by Kengo Kaji, the co-writer of “Tokyo Gore Police”, and featuring effects by Yoshihiro Mishimura, the director of said genre highpoint. Also likely to be of no small enticement is the presence of AV actress Aino Kishi in the lead role, with support from fellow AV star Mihiro (recently in the horror “The Cruel Restaurant”).

The film’s plot is essentially nonsense, with Aino Kishi playing neither a samurai nor a princess, but an android killing machine stitched together from the parts of eleven young girls who were raped and killed by a particularly nasty gang of miscreants. Brought back to life by a mad scientist, she sets off on the usual revenge spree, slicing and dicing her way through hordes of strangely clad enemies and bizarre villains.
Given its director and the involvement of Yoshihiro Mishimura, most viewers should know well in advance whether or not “Samurai Princess” is likely to be a film for them. For those who don’t, or for the curious, the first 5 minutes of the film will make things abundantly clear one way or the other, featuring such delightful scenes as the heroine removing a man’s brain to quite literally read his mind and her detaching her breasts to hurl at her enemies. Certainly, the film is bloody even by the standards of the genre, packing in an impressive amount of dismemberment, evisceration, mutilation and shots of characters being torn apart by freakish villains with weapons for body parts.
However, as with many of its peers, the violence is incredibly cartoonish, and hard to take seriously, and although the effects are imaginative and well-handled, they are about as convincing as those in one of Herschell Gordon Lewis’ gore opuses. Of course, this is by no means a bad thing, and the film is a great deal of fun, and although it doesn’t quite scale the giddy heights of “Tokyo Gore Police”, still the form’s best example, it displays a winning sense of demented creativity and an entertainingly grotesque predilection for the misuse of limbs and internal organs. If anything, the lack of real sadism is to the film’s benefit, making for guilt free enjoyment and a number of genuinely jaw droppingly amusing moments.
The film does suffer from many of the pitfalls common to the genre, mainly in that it looks rather amateurish and cheap. Although Kaji has obviously put some effort into the film’s mythology, its crazy half-defined future setting and the characters’ back stories, it all kind of gets lost thanks to the low budget, which aside from the effects didn’t seem cover more than people in outlandish costumes wandering around the woods. His direction is wild and unfocused rather than kinetic, though generally enthusiastic enough to inject a certain energy into the proceedings, especially during the insane fight scenes.
Unsurprisingly, the acting is mostly poor, with most of the cast attempting to get by with wide eyed stares, odd face pulling and mock hysterical laughter. Still, Aino Kishi is fine in the lead role, managing a pleasing mixture of cuteness and psychotic violence likely to endear herself to male viewers – not least since the film does feature a few flashes of female nudity, as well as a reasonably graphic and excellently gratuitous sex scene halfway through. However, to call the film erotic horror would seriously be pushing it, as it for the most part Kaji avoids the kind of perversion and twisted sex seen in some of its peers.
All of these are minor criticisms, with the gore factor and general insanity being the main draws, and for fans of the form “Samurai Princess” certainly more than delivers. Definitely one of the better and livelier examples of Japanese extreme cinema, it offers cheerfully sick entertainment for those with strong stomachs and a fondness for low budget wackiness.

 Director:Kengo Kaji

Screenplay: Sôtarô Hayashi, Kengo Kaji 

Genre: Action

Release Date: 2009

Run Time: 83 min

Cast: Yû Aiba, Takeshi Ayabe, Miki Hirase, Mitsuru Karahashi, Asuka Kataoka, Aino Kishi, Mihiro, Dai Mizuno, Mao Shiina

Cyborg She (2008) Review by James Mudge:

Cyborg She (2008)

Short Review by James Mudge: “Cyborg She” sees Korean director Kwak Jae Yong of “My Sassy Girl” fame switching to Japanese for a genre blending romantic comedy that adds a science fiction, time travelling twist to his usual formula. Also known as “My Girlfriend is a Cyborg”, the film is not to be confused with “Oldboy” director Park Chan Wook’s “I’m a Cyborg but that’s OK”, with which it shares a vaguely similar premise. If anything, Kwak’s film is even wackier and more oddball, managing to throw in pretty much everything imaginable, whilst still remaining not only highly enjoyable, but also surprisingly moving. Having been a popular hit in Asia, the film finally arrives on region 2 DVD via 4Digital Asia, coming with a host of features including a making of documentary, various interviews and press spots, plus featurettes on its special effects.

The film begins with a lonely Tokyo student called Jiro (Keisuke Koide, also in “Gokusen: The Movie”), who spends his birthday every year by himself at the same restaurant. One year, he spots a strange girl (the gorgeous Haruka Ayase, recently in “Ichi” and “Hero”) stealing clothes from a department store, who later shows up at his dinner table. The two spend a crazy night together, only for her to disappear under strange circumstances. She shows up on the same day the next year, saving him from a crazed gunman, and revealing to him that she is in fact an android from the future, built by his future self and sent back to save him. This time she sticks around to move in and take care of him, and inevitably the two begin to form a relationship of sorts. Unfortunately, as she is only too aware, the future holds unpleasant revelations, and the road to robot romance is by no means an easy one.

Unsurprisingly, “Cyborg She” is very similar to “My Sassy Girl” – in fact, “My Sassy Cyborg” would have been a fitting title. Certainly, Haruka Ayase’s character basically behaves in a very similar manner to Jeon Ji Hyun, acting kooky and aggressive, beating Jiro up, doing amusingly inappropriate things, and getting drunk. Jiro himself is exactly the kind of protagonist favoured by Kwak, being a very familiar loser nerd type. As such, his meeting an impossibly beautiful woman who quite literally has to fall for him smacks of male wish-fulfilment, though in a sweetly innocent rather than dishonest or sleazy fashion – despite the fact that his reaction upon finding out that she is a robot is to ask her whether her breasts are real and if she is able to have sex. Her android powers do make for a few twists on the formula, or at least see the director having an excuse to take things to a new level of super female protagonist, with her moving at incredible speeds, and throwing people through the air or zapping them with electricity. Thankfully, Ayase is note perfect in the lead role, not only being incredibly cute, even when acting violent, but also adding a real sense of fun, and even a touch of emotional depth.

Kwak is one of the few directors to show a talent for balancing comedy, characters and romance in this fashion and the film is genuinely quite moving, if in a rather manipulative fashion. As such, although things do get overly melodramatic towards the end, with some obvious yanks at the heartstrings and gratuitous montage scenes, the film never crosses the line into cheap sentiment. This having been said, he does tend to use the time travel element to wallow in nostalgia, for example during a laughably tangential trip to Jiro’s old home town, complete with misty streets, bizarrely friendly people and of course, sappy music.

Wisely, Kwak never seems to take things too seriously, and for every moment of emotional high camp he throws in some fun special effects. The last act of the film is actually quite spectacular, as it shifts gears and heads into disaster movie territory. The film contains a surprising amount of action, and is quite violent at times, as a gunman opens fire in restaurant and tries to burn people to death, and a knife maniac goes on a rampage at a girls’ school. There is also a fair amount of comedy, and though most of it comes in the form of basic slapstick, it works well enough, with a few standout gags including a great scene involving Ayase robot dancing. Kwak’s scattershot approach proves a good fit for the material, distracting from the inherent predictability of the plot, which frequently and in heavy handed style signposts events and motifs which will be revisited later for ironic reasons and in a vaguely annoying manner. This having been said, the last 15 minutes or so are pretty off the wall, and whilst it is debatable whether or not they are really needed, do help to end the film on an odd, if saccharine note.

Still, this is only to be expected from Kwak, and on the whole “Cyborg She” is one of his better and more charming efforts. Successfully combining science fiction, comedy, romance and more is no mean feat in itself, and the film makes for entertaining viewing throughout, in no small part thanks to Haruka Ayase’s wonderful turn in the titular role.

Director: Jae-young Kwak

Screenplay: Jae-young Kwak 

Genre: Action | Comedy | Romance | Sci-Fi 

Release Date:31 May 2008 (Japan)

Cast:Haruka Ayase … Cyborg
Keisuke Koide … Jiro Kitamura

Automaton Transfusion (2006) Review by Scott Weinberg:

 

Automaton Transfusion (2006) 

Short Review by Scott Weinberg: There's 2/3rds of a great little indie flick to be found in Automaton Transfusion. Despite a handful of clearly evident flaws (most of which come from the inordinately low budget, and not from a lack of effort), this 71-minute zombie-fest has more than enough energy, mayhem and gore to keep the serious horror freaks entertained -- but one can't help feel that the movie was released in half-cooked form. From the truncated running time to the consistently shoddy video presentation, the thing feels precisely like the "backyard production" that it is. But having survived dozens of these (generally worthless) movies, I'd settle for the "partial" movie that is Automaton Transfusion than most of the other 'do-it-yourself' horror flicks.

You want a plot synopsis? Cool. "A town is overrun by zombies." That's literally it. We're introduced to a broadly forgettable group of characters, but don't worry about trying to keep track of the young folks. 70% of the flick's idiots are dead and zombified before they get six lines of dialog out of their mouths. A small group of survivors bolt from garage to high school to basement, and at every stop there's another (ahem) transfusion of seriously explicit carnage. What the movie lacks in plot development and legitimate characters (which is a lot), it seems intent on making up in gruesome gristle and freakish flesh-eating. (Seriously, this is one splattery movie. There's a quick bit involving a pregnant mother that threw me for a loop, and it's fun when a jaded horror guy gets a surprise.)

 Gore flick" is certainly a legitimate sub-genre beneath the horror heading, and Automaton Transfusion is most definitely one of those. It barely makes an attempt at being "scary," but thankfully it does take its zombie stuff pretty seriously. (Nothing sinks a $25,000 horror movie like a cast who keeps winking at the camera.) If you find yourself having a hard time with the flick's aggressively grungy look, just pretend you're watching a sketchy old zombie relic from 1982. Once I got used to the movie's "handycam" look, it actually added a little campy charm to the proceedings. And say what you will about the questionable acting or the almost complete lack of "plot," but for a mega-low-budget movie, the gore effects are both powerfully plentiful and surprisingly effective. Oh, and the score is quite good. That always helps.

Given the movie's brief running time and almost ridiculously abrupt ending, part of me wishes that someone had given the Automaton producers an extra 10 grand to polish their baby up a little. As it stands, it's an amusing diversion for only the most ardent of horror fans. But give these guys a half-decent production budget, and I bet they'd turn out one powerhouse horror flick. Perhaps the fact that Automaton Transfusion was purchased and distributed by the Weinstein brothers means that director Steven C. Miller will have a little more cash on hand as he moves forward on Automaton Transfusion: Contingency. Yep, the sequel's already brewing.

Fortunately the DVD extras seem intent on making up for the relatively brief movie. There's a solid 26-minute "making-of" featurette that offers a few interviews and segments of on-set footage, as well as a feature-length audio commentary from writer/director Steven C. Miller and producers William Clevinger and Mark Thalman.

The (optional) commentary continues on four deleted scenes. One of Miller's short films, Suffer or Sacrifice, is also included here, as are two music videos: "Can You Hear Me Now" by Blinded Black and "Arsenaholic" by Dancefloor Tragedy. Rounding out the (surprisingly stocked) DVD is the Automaton Transfusion trailer.

Basically, when I'm "judging" a movie I look at A) what it's trying to do, and B) what it had to work with. Based only on those criteria, I'd certainly call Automaton Transfusion movie a successful effort. Maybe not a cult classic waiting to happen, but certainly more worthwhile than most low-budget zombie flicks. And no, I have no idea what the title means.

Director:Steven C. Miller

Screenplay:Steven C. Miller

Genre: Horror/Suspense

Runtime: 75 mins

Starring: Garret Jones, Juliet Reeves, William Bowman, Rowan Bousaid

Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005) Review by Stephen Holden:

  Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005)

Short Review by Stephen Holden: In "Zathura: A Space Adventure," an extraterrestrial fantasy shared by two squabbling young brothers, a cavernous suburban house turns into a rickety spacecraft adrift somewhere in the vicinity of Saturn.

As the house tilts and wobbles through space, it is besieged by meteors, a demented robot and lizardlike creatures called Zorgons. Now and then, its occupants - 6-year-old Danny (Jonah Bobo), 10-year-old Walter (Josh Hutcherson) and their teenage sister, Lisa (Kristen Stewart) - must fight against fierce gravitational forces pulling them toward the void.

The intrusions, including a visit from an abandoned astronaut (Dax Shepard), are conjured by Zathura, a magical board game Danny discovers at the bottom of a dumbwaiter in the house where he and his siblings have moved with their recently divorced father (Tim Robbins).

In the enchanted limbo between waking and sleeping, "Zathura" feels both real and unreal, like a dream you could shake off at any moment.

It doesn't strive for verisimilitude. Even when its computer-generated effects are fancy, they have a homemade quality. The clunky, old-fashioned robot that barges in on the house has the grace and intelligence of a muscle-bound moron. Those Zorgons, creepy heat-seeking carnivores with a taste for human flesh, may be hideous, but they're no great shakes in the brains department.

Summoned by cards drawn by the Zathura players, the robot and the Zorgons wreck a house already riddled by meteors from the shower summoned in the first round of the game. (During the pummeling the boys cringe in the fireplace.) No sooner does Lisa wake up than another round of the game turns her bathroom into a freezer, and she becomes a rigid, frost-covered ice sculpture.

But a house, even one as battered as this, is still a home. Because Danny and Walter remain sheltered, "Zathura" gives its young characters (and the young audience members who will identify with them) the same comforting anchor as "Peter Pan," "Mary Poppins" or "E. T." The movie also richly gratifies the "if only it weren't a game" fantasy of children: not just to play a board game, but to project themselves into its world.

In the game of Zathura, a creaky metallic relic of the 1950's, winding a key activates a metal figure, which marches jerkily along a track and stops at a number, whereupon a card pops up to announce a new fantasy. The movie, adapted from a short, illustrated children's book by Chris Van Allsburg ("Jumanji," "The Polar Express"), is in many ways a sequel to "Jumanji," which also revolved around a board game.

But "Zathura" is gentler, more family-friendly and in every way better than its special-effects-clogged forerunner, which starred Robin Williams and was too scary for many children. In that mean-spirited fantasy, a jungle's worth of terrors, including lions, spiders, carnivorous plants and crocodiles, menaced the characters.

Like other movies adapted from Mr. Van Allsburg's surreal stories, "Zathura" is episodic. It has neither the grand design of the "Harry Potter" movies nor the mythological portent of the "Star Wars" cycle. Jon Favreau, in his first directing assignment since "Elf," shrewdly avoids science-fiction pretentiousness. Except for Mr. Robbins, who disappears early in the film, "Zathura" is without star power. It's left up to the young actors to carry the film, with a hefty assist from Mr. Shepard. (Ms. Stewart's character spends much of the movie cryonically immobilized.)

From the outset, "Zathura" digs into the messier stuff of childhood: fierce sibling rivalry, festering boredom and destructive impulses. The early scenes find the father at his wit's end coping with his sons' fraternal strife. Walter, who is naturally athletic, can catch a baseball; Danny, who is more imaginative, can't.

As they take their turns, and the dangers from outside worsen, the movie becomes an increasingly weighty fable about growing up. Its conventional messages would stick in your craw if pushed too strenuously. But Mr. Favreau and the screenwriters David Koepp and John Kamps refrain from overdoing the preachiness and sentimentality.

In the middle of the game, the brothers realize that to avoid being trapped forever in the game, they must complete it, and that the only way to do that is to cooperate rather than compete; it's easier said than done. Guiding them toward harmony is the astronaut, a glorified Boy Scout who bears a distant resemblance to the young, brash Harrison Ford. As the story takes a final mystical turn that links him to the brothers, the fable clicks into place.

Director: Jon Favreau

Genre: Childrens

Runtime: 1 hr 53 mins

Theatrical Release:Nov 11, 2005

Starring: Josh Hutcherson, Jonah Bobo, Dax Shepard, Kristen Stewart

Yes man (2009) Review by Roger Moore:

Yes man (2009)

Short Review by Roger Moore: "Yes is the new 'no'." in Yes Man, a Jim Carrey comedy that has him covering much the same ground he did in Liar Liar. It's an often engaging romance shot through with sweetness, a movie that hangs on a handful of simple, magical scenes.
The first comes when Carl Allen, a morose divorced loner of a loan officer who has let "no" rule his life lets himself be talked into attending a self-help seminar. In a room full of delirious "YES!" shouting cultists, Carl is confronted by The Yes Man himself, Terrence Bundley. The great Terence Stamp -- and his menacing, owlish eyes of many a movie villain -- hurls himself at Carl, urging/ordering him to "embrace the possible. Say 'yes' to everything!"
And the movie, based on a Danny Wallace book, written by Carrey collaborators and directed by the klutz who botched The Break-Up, proceeds to show us the wondrous possibilities in that free-spirited philosophy, and its limitations.
Carl says "yes" to giving a bum a lift. He lets the guy use his phone (John Michael Higgins is the yes "sponsor" who nags Carl into this). That leads to running out of gas with a dead phone and a sparks-flying first meeting with Allison, a real free spirit played by Zooey Deschanel.
Phony free-spirit Carl signs up for guitar lessons and Korean language classes. He responds to spam from Persianwifefinder.com. He says "yes" to a Harry Potter theme party thrown by his needy, nerdy boss (Rhys Darby). And he approves loans, every hair-brained business or personal loan pitch that crosses his desk.
All this spontaneity leads to another magic moment -- a "Let's sneak into the Hollywood Bowl and sing" scene with Allison that climaxes with an adorable Beatles duet sung on an empty stage.
Everything Carl embraces pays personal dividends. Well, almost everything. And every time he says "no" the karma goes bad.
Deschanel, she of the quirky timing and quirkier bangs, is perfectly cast as a scooter-driving flake who fronts a band named Munchausen by Proxy and leads a jogging photography club (they shoot pictures while they run). She gives the movie a shot at being as romantic as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
It isn't, sadly. Yes Man attempts to update the 46-year-old comic genius for a ruder, cruder Judd Apatow-Frat Pack comedy universe. The film surrounds him with less funny "pals" (Bradley Cooper of Wedding Crashers and Danny Masterson of That 70s Show), injects one funny but off-key sex-with-the-elderly joke and tries to make Carrey, a brilliant soloist, an ensemble player.
It's the soloist who delivers the third magical moment here, as Carl uses his guitar lessons to sing a suicidal man ( Luis Guzman) off a ledge. Carrey's comedy is aggressive but sweet. The Apatow style is crude with a hint of sweet. They don't quite mesh.
The script caves in on itself when the multiple writers (one an Apatow alum) conjure up artificial obstacles to the romance and the pitfalls of living your life through self-help slogans. And there aren't enough Bruce Almighty/Liar Liar Carrey set-pieces to give this the zing of those, his last wholly formed comedies.
But it's great to see the funnyman switch off the glum and the grim -- The Number 23, anyone? -- and embrace the comically possible again. Let's hope he says "yes" to a few more funny films before he ages out of them altogether.

Director: Peyton Reed

Genre: Comedies

Runtime: 2 hrs 2 mins

Theatrical Release:2009

Starring: Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, Rhys Darby

Wall-E (2008) Short Review:

Wall-E (2008)

Short Review:WALL-E is the latest in the line of stellar features from the powerhouse Pixar. It is a romantic story of a small, lonely garbage cleaning robot that finds his purpose is greater than simply gathering trash into piles. Beautiful, charming and with an important message interwoven, WALL-E is flawless.

When the people of earth cover the world in garbage, they take off on a five year cruise, leaving behind teams of robots, called WALL-Es (Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class), to clean up the enormous mess. As the mess-makers live generations of their lives in hover chairs, tied to their projected televisions and easy-come food, one particular WALL-E (Ben Burtt) works diligently and becomes ever lonelier. That all changes one day when a cute, white robot named EVE (Extra-terrestrial Vegetation Evaluator) comes to earth and begins systematically scanning everything.

As I watched WALL-E, I found myself taken aback by the phenomenal animation.

First, I was greatly impressed with care paid to the characters and the ambiance. When WALL-E is on earth, the lighting looks natural and radiant (even the dust is shaded properly); when he is in artificial light of the spacecraft, his appearance changes appropriately to a more artificial look. Even when he watches TV, the colors are spot on and the reflections in his eyes are bewitchingly realistic. EVE sparkles majestically in the light and appears luminescent in the dark. She is beautiful.

Secondly, the “acting” by the animated characters is beyond belief. That’s because there is very little speaking in the movie; most of the
interaction is done solely via expressions and body movements. WALL-E’s mechanical eyes appear that they should be welling up with tears when he is sad and his body language is easily the most expressive I’ve ever seen by an animated character. These animators, to me, are on the level of demi-gods – creating such realistic animated life and breathtaking scapes. It is this attention to detail that allows the
audience to believe that this world is real and that this little robot has truly come alive.

WALL-E isn’t just easy on the eyes, it is chock full of comedy antics that nearly emptied my bladder and actually caused me to snort out loud. WALL-E doesn’t really talk, so all his humor is done through his reactions to his surroundings and situation. No opportunity to bond with him through laughter was missed and thankfully the writers (Andrew Stanton and Jim Capobianco) didn’t force any of the jokes either. I’d say it is safe to say that WALL-E is the Charlie Chaplin of robots.

On top of all this, WALL-E also comes with a message about responsibility to tell children and parents alike. When you stop paying attention to the world around you and you let your chair be your entire universe, it effects more than just you. Moreover, you miss out on the things that are truly important and the amazing things you can experience when you actually live your life instead of watching it on the TV. Sneakily, Andrew Stanton (who also directed) peels away the curtain of what he feels is societal wrongs, but makes you feel good that you peeked behind the curtain. How often can we be told what we are doing something wrong, face it and still love the experience?

WALL-E stole my heart right from my chest and for that reason I rule that this movie is criminally adorable. It challenged my behaviors and for that I’m grateful. I promise you, you won’t regret seeing WALL-E.

Directed: Andrew Stanton

Genre: Action/Adventure

Runtime: 16 hrs 38 mins

Theatrical Release:Jun 27, 2008

Starring: Fred Willard, Jeff Garlin, Ben Burtt, Sigourney Weaver

Vacancy 2 The First Cut (2009) Review by DVD:

 

Vacancy 2 The First Cut (2009) 

                                                  


Short Review by DVD: Every now and then I'll watch a slasher movie. So, when time came to review Vacancy 2: The First Cut, I decided it must be the right time. I didn't catch the first Vacancy film, but I knew the general idea well enough to follow where the sequel was going — especially since it was being billed as sort of a prequel. In the first Vacancy, a killer at an off-the-beaten-path motel, finds new victims and really gets into his work.

So I worked my way through Vacancy 2. Sometimes it's tough sledding for me to get through a slasher picture. It's not that I don't like blood, gore, and violence. I'm your typical American Male. I can stand a good amount of those elements. Vacancy 2 has a story that flows nicely back into the story from the first movie. Unfortunately it takes far too long to develop.

Yes, things happen.

Yes, characters fall into familiar traps found in most slasher movies.

But it really didn't get going for me until the second half when the young couple and their friend enter the picture. Then things get interesting.

The setup is simple. A couple of guys manage a small, out-of-the-way motel off a little traveled road. They have installed cameras in a particular bungalow, which allow them not only to watch what goes on in the room, but record it for a trucker (David Shackleford) and make a little money on the side. David Moscow plays the creepy hotel manager, and Brian Klugman plays the hapless hotel employee. It's sort of like a perverted version of the Three Stooges. The trucker is Moe, the hotel manager is Curly or Shemp, and the hotel lackey is Larry. They're a bumbling group who will eventually get caught.

When a killer (Scott G. Anderson reprising his role as Mr. Smith from the first Vacancy movie) checks into the hotel to take care of his latest victim, Curly and Larry call in Moe and they strike a deal with the killer. Snuff films sell even better than bad hotel camera pornography evidently.

So they cut the killer into their deal and lie in wait for some poor unsuspecting victims to be the stars of their next snuff movie. This for me was when the movie got going.

Caleb (Trevor Wright) and Jessica (Agnes Bruckner) are driving from Chicago on their way to their new lives in North Carolina. Their friend, the wise-cracking Tanner (Arjay Smith), is along to help with the move. The trio decides to check into the convenient roadside hotel for a nap and to get cleaned up for the last leg of their journey. Who knew they'd be driving into a trap by this group of psychopaths who want to film their murders and sell it for a profit?

                                                                          

Directed: Eric Bross

Written: Mark L. Smith

    Genre: Horror/Suspense

Running time: 86 minutes

Country: Cinema of the United States

Starring: Agnes Bruckner, David Moscow, Scott G. Anderson, Arjay Smith

Underworld Rise of the Lycans (2009) Review byAubrey Ward:

Underworld Rise of the Lycans (2009)

Short Review byAubrey Ward:In 2003 a film was released and it was called Underworld. We were introduced to the vampire, Selene (Kate Beckinsale), who sought to exterminate the Lycans. We watched as Selene uncovered secrets from the past. Secrets that would turn the tide in the vampire/lycan war and usher in a new era for both species. One of those closeted skeletons was the tale of a love affair between the Lycan, Lucian, and a woman named Sonja, daughter of a vampire elder.

If you at least saw Underworld then you already know that Rise of The Lycans does not have a completely happy ending. Though Lucian (Michael Sheen) escapes captivity and frees his lycan brethren from slavery Sonja (Rhona Mitra) is sentenced to death by the vampire council, which includes her own father, Viktor (Bill Nighy). But that’s the thing about prequels. Even when you know the end, there are still a lot of things that happened in the beginning that have yet to be discovered.  

Rise of the Lycans tells the full story of how the Underworld war started. Like most classic tales this story starts with a birth. The “wolves” were seemingly feral beasts that lived only to slaughter and multiply. The vampires were employed by human nobles to keep the wolves at bay. Any man infected with the wolf virus would become a wolf himself and not be able to become human again unless he was killed. I’m not sure if the virus works on women since only male wolves are featured.

Anyway, a captive wolf in the vampire dungeon gives birth to a child (which either means that there are female wolves or male wolves have the ability to have “pups”). This child is unique because he is able to retain his human form. Viktor kills the mama but spares the child. Viktor believes this unusual specimen will be of use to him and his people. And he’s right. The boy is named Lucian and his blood is used to spawn more like him. These men that can change from human to wolf form at will are dubbed “lycans” and they are used as slave labor to the vampires. The lycans perform manual labor by night and protect their vampire masters as they sleep during the day.

 There are many more Underworld history lessons to be learned along with the creation of the lycan race but at the center is the forbidden passion between the Lucian and Sonja. It’s a tale as old as time but no less effective. What really makes the love affair so dangerous is Viktor. I thought he was a jerk in Underworld but in Rise of the Lycans he is a complete lunatic. It seems the only thing to match Viktor’s love of power is his loathing for Lycans and wolves. He claims to love his daughter but shows no hesitation in literally burning her at the stake for mingling with the help.

While I enjoyed the movie and was excited to see familiar characters like Viktor and Lucian and Raze (Kevin Grevioux) I can’t say that there is a lot of originality to the story. It’s the typical “Romeo & Juliet” theme. The lovers meet in secret, they’re eventually found out, the lovers are warned to end their affair or perish, a battle erupts between the factions, and one of the lovers doesn’t survive to ride into the sunset. If you’ve never seen Underworld or Underworld: Evolution then you might not be as enchanted by the plot as the fans are.

However, I say that despite the recycled love theme Rise of the Lycans still has some refreshing treats to offer newbies. There is the love story that romantics should enjoy. While it might not be as intense as Jack and Rose floating in the Arctic on a piece of wreckage the trials that Sonja and Lucian endure to be together is still very intriguing. There’s also the stirring plot involving the emancipation of the Lycans. Lucian’s transformation from Uncle Tom to Harriet Tubman is thrilling and adds even more richness and gravitas to the present day Lucian we see in the previous installments.

The effects are a mishmash of practical effects, CGI, and wirework. The lycans are again a combination of those impressive live action body suits and computer generated effects. Automatic pistols and grenades are non-existent. In this age we have really big swords, crossbows, and harpoons. Those snazzy leather bodysuits take a backseat to chainmail and armor. This episode of Underworld goes totally medieval!

Michael Sheen brings so much fire and passion to Lucian. The man just came off of Frost/Nixon looking as pressed as his leisure suits. What a major transformation he goes through to portray Lucian; long and wild hair, fangs, a medieval doggie collar, and is usually pretty sweaty and grimy from working in the smithy all day long. Lucian is the film’s “chosen one” so a lot rode on Sheen’s shoulders and he carried the burden like a titan. Also returning was Bill Nighy and like Sheen he portrays Viktor just the same as he did in Underworld but there’s more revealed about his character. I got to know more about why he did what he did to the lycans, to Lucian, and Sonja. I got to see how he worked the vampire council and how he ruled his people. Not that I would want to be trapped in an elevator with the elder but I think I got more of an understanding of his inner being. He was basically a bigot. All other races and species were inferior to him and his kind and he made sure all the lower beings never forgot that. It’s tragic that he had the opportunity to usher in a new age but was so afraid of change that he clung to his old beliefs and killed his own child in the process.



Then there’s Sonja. It helped that Rhona Mitra was a near spitting image of Ms. Beckinsale (accent and all). The experience was akin to the introduction of Padme Amidala in the Star Wars prequels. We got to see where Princess Leia got her spunk. Though Sonja isn’t a blood ancestor of Selene the similarities are still very present. Both share a love of hanging with the death dealers. Both women hate being saved even when they’re in grave peril. Both women like wearing corsets as accessories. And both Sonja and Selene have the unenviable task of standing up to Viktor as well as the social rules of vampirekind. Mitra embues Sonja with the toughness she displayed in Doomsday and Sonja needs that steely resolve if she’s gonna buck the system and shag the Lycan Messiah.

So there you have it. I enjoyed Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and yes I am really biased about it because I am a fan of the films. Rise of the Lycans is that delicious vampire and werewolf sandwich with that crisp lettuce of reworked folklore and the creamy spread of gnarly effects and smushed together between two slices of organically produced gothic darkness. Those expecting to walk in and watch an intense drama like Revolutionary Road....should go and buy tickets for Revolutionary Road. If you like seeing immortal beasts go at it both on the battlefield and in the sack then press elevator key "U" for Underworld: Rise of the Lycans.

Director: Patrick Tatopoulos

Genre: Horror/Suspense

Runtime: 1 hr 32 mins

Theatrical Release:Jan 23, 2009 

Starring: Michael Sheen, Bill Nighy, Rhona Mitra, Steven Mackintosh

S Darko (2009) Review by Albert Walker:

 

                                                                   S Darko (2009)

Short Review by Albert Walker: S. Darko is the direct-to-DVD cash-in sequel to “Donnie Darko“, writer-director Richard Kelly’s mystifying 2001 tale of teenage angst and existentialism with a time travel twist. When news originally broke that a sequel was being made without the involvement of Kelly, “Donnie Darko“ fans were outraged. For my part, I tried to keep an open mind. In general, I don’t that believe that any film is above having a sequel, “cult classic” or not.

Which is not to say I found “Donnie Darko“ all that deserving of the cult classic label in the first place. I give Kelly all the credit in the world for being ambitious, but the film’s take on teen suburban angst was about as deep as John Hughes films of the ‘80s. And the time travel element made no sense, with all of Kelly’s “explanations” only confusing matters more.

So, I really and truly went into “S. Darko: A Donnie Darko Tale“ with an open mind. The original film surely had enough unanswered questions to provide plenty of interesting material for a sequel, right?
Well, “Darko“ fans, I’m here to tell you that your rage was justified. Even as a direct-to-DVD low-budget film released with zero fanfare, “S. Darko“ is a stunning disappointment. It’s a rare sequel that actually makes me start to like the previous movie in retrospect.

For all its faults, at least “Donnie Darko“ was something the filmmakers poured their hearts into, and Kelly was blessed with an amazing cast that believed in the material. I appreciate that film so much more, now that I see what it might have been like with cheap special effects, subpar acting from the cast of “Gossip Girl“ and “One Tree Hill“, and a director with no clue what story he wanted to tell.

The central character of “S. Darko“ is Donnie’s little sister Samantha, played once again by Daveigh Chase, who had perhaps three lines in the original. Chase is now 18 and beautiful, but her acting abilities leave a lot to be desired. In no way is she ready to be the headlining star of any movie, low budget or not. Clearly, she was only brought on board to provide one of the few tenuous links to the original movie.

At the start, we’re told in a lengthy expositional crawl that Samantha ran away from home, in part due to her brother’s death seven years ago. And now, she and her best girl friend Corey are driving across country for unclear reasons. Their car breaks down, leaving them stranded in a small town where most of the film takes place.

Our first clue that some of Donnie’s weirdness has rubbed off on Samantha happens at a motel, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, reaches into a TV screen, and pulls out a glowing feather. She then appears to one of the townsfolk, a schizophrenic veteran of the first Gulf War named “Iraq Jack”. Samantha, all done up in corpse-like makeup, warns Iraq Jack that the world is going to end in less than a week.

Yes, for reasons known only to the filmmakers, Samantha is now taking on the “Frank” role, as in the guy in the evil bunny rabbit suit who appeared as a vision to Donnie in the first movie. What’s more, Samantha wakes up with no memories of any of this happening, though the film doesn’t really make this clear. Regardless, her warning allows Jack to avoid certain death due to, of all things, a crashing meteorite.

From there, things get even more bizarre. A nerdy guy in town takes the meteorite home, and discovers it contains new elements never seen before by man. On top of that, the meteorite is causing huge boils to erupt all over his skin, which Samantha helpfully describes as “gnarly”.

Meanwhile, Iraq Jack keeps receiving visions. Sometimes from Samantha, and sometimes from an abducted child who’s been missing for months. These visions command him to do various things, like burn down a church. Eventually, Jack flexes his metallurgical skills and creates his own evil bunny rabbit mask.

And if all that’s not strange enough for you, Elizabeth Berkley shows up, in the role of a Jesus freak. At least she can rest easy at night knowing she finally made a movie worse than “Showgirls“.

While there are a few scattered callbacks to the previous film, it seems the filmmakers saw “Donnie Darko“ and decided it was really about random things happening for no reason. Their follow-up story has no plot and no direction. You could start watching at pretty much any point in the movie and it wouldn’t make a difference.

There’s a moment where we’re led to believe the title character has been killed off at the 45-minute mark. And the only emotion this provokes is ennui. Honestly, the film could have ended with the whole world exploding into tiny soap bubbles and I probably would have just shrugged.

Instead, the movie ends with a shower of flaming meteors hitting the town, like a scene from “Armageddon“. Scratch that—these are actually tesseracts (four-dimensional cubes) from outer space, which briefly transform into flaming CGI eagles before crashing to the ground. I told you this movie makes no sense.

The original film took place in 1988, so it should only follow that “S. Darko” takes place in 1995. But there’s no effort put forth to making it look like 1995, other than a brief glimpse of the OJ Simpson trial on TV. And while the original film’s soundtrack was filled with ‘80s hits from the likes of INXS and Tears for Fears, the only ‘90s hit song the makers of “S. Darko“ could afford was Catherine Wheel’s “Black Metallic”. At one point, Samantha’s best friend actually uses the expression “tramp stamp”. In 1995. She should have just referenced Twitter while she was at it.

I still think “Donnie Darko“ is a film worthy of an interesting sequel. Richard Kelly’s own follow-up project “Southland Tales“ stiffed badly, and depending on how his next film “The Box“ is received, he may be looking to return to “Darko“ territory sooner rather than later. If that ever happens, fans can rest assured that every moment of this bogus “sequel” will be completely ignored.

Director:Chris Fisher

Screenplay:Nathan Atkins

Theatrical Release:12 May 2009 (USA)

Genre:Crime | Mystery | Sci-Fi | Thriller

Cast: Daveigh Chase … Samantha
Briana Evigan … Corey
James Lafferty … Iraq Jack
Ed Westwick … Randy
Walter Platz … Frank
John Hawkes … Phil
Bret Roberts … Officer O’Dell
Jackson Rathbone … Jeremy

Race To Witch Mountain (2009) Review by Dakota Grobawski:

                                                   Race To Witch Mountain (2009)

Short Review by Dakota Grobawski: Disney's Race to Witch Mountain arrives on DVD this week, and if the studio was intending to rejuvenate a franchise based on the film - they're going to have to try again. The movie, while not a box office dud, was certainly not a hit, with audiences shrugging it off and critics throwing stones. Their reactions are valid, as the movie, essentially a modern-day retelling of the 1975 film Escape to Witch Mountain, is bland and uninteresting, despite a barrage of action.

The movie stars Dwayne Johnson as a tough taxi driver who owes money to some thugs. He's delighted but also worried when two kids with a suspicious amount of cash hire him to drive them into the middle of the Las Vegas desert. He realizes he made a mistake when government agents - and an alien assassin - come after the children, putting him in the middle of a fight that could, depending on its outcome, destroy Earth.

Race to Witch Mountain has all the ingredients of a good family film. Johnson has proven himself to be an entertaining force in whatever he appears in, whether it's made for children or adults. The kids in the movie - aliens, actually - have all kinds of cool special powers. There are evil aliens and evil federal agents, and plenty of action to tie everything together.

In fact, some children probably will enjoy Race to Witch Mountain for those very reasons. And when compared to all of the movies parents could choose from, I could think of much worse things to sit through than this.

It's just that the movie could have been so much better...

Johnson, who has as much charisma as anyone working in Hollywood today, seems to have lost his mojo, most likely thanks to the direction of Andy Fickman and the screenplay by Matt Lopez and Mark Bomback. He drives around the desert, complaining about the situation he has gotten himself into and delivering painful one-liners. It appears as though he was contractually bound to be as bland as he could be in the movie.

AnnaSophia Robb, who was excellent in Bridge to Terabithia, and Alexander Ludwig, who was the star of the disappointing franchise killer The Seeker: The Dark is Rising, are also sucked of all life. They play the two alien children, but as the two characters who audiences should connect with most, they are amazingly flat and uninteresting. They talk in a very cryptic and unemotional way, but rarely evoke laughs or anything else. It's pretty painful watching or listening to them on screen, and that's not good.

Carla Gugino, a generally reliable actress, also seems stuck down a creek without a paddle.

The bottom line is that the movie just isn't much fun. The screenplay fails to take advantage of the story; most of the jokes are terrible and the situations the characters find themselves in are uninteresting. As a result, the action is very cookie cutter; there's a lot of it, but nothing that's remarkably good. Kids expect more these days, but Fickman doesn't realize that.

Again, for parents, you could do worse. There's enough on-screen action to keep your children entertained, and you won't go numb from watching it. But you and your kids will agree that there's not much here to latch onto; Race to Witch Mountain is a perfect example of failed opportunity.

For Andy Fickman's (The Game Plan) debut in the children's action-fantasy genre, Race to Witch Mountain turns out to be a disappointment. From a weak supporting cast to wooden dialogue, Dwayne Johnson's Jack Bruno isn't given much to work with. Whether it's, "Don't go in the pimped out fridge Jack," to "You know what aliens look like. They look like little green people with antennas and say 'Take me to your leader, Earthlings,'" Race to Witch Mountain is nothing more than a theatrical release of made-to-DVD film.

To give it credit, while not for all audiences, the humor is light and clean. Children - especially young boys under the age of 15 - will enjoy the comedy as it's narrowly directed towards them. In the past, children's films such as Shrek tend to try to appeal to all ages with subtle jokes that only adults will get. In Race to Witch Mountain, we tend to get humor that is short and simple. The jokes won't have you "busting a gut" or spitting out your drink through your nose, but as a parent, you'll enjoy that it's clean and that your children are able to giggle at the physical humor.

Taking further steps to become more family-oriented, Dwayne Johnson once again partnered up with Andy Fickman from their 2007 hit The Game Plan. Taking a leap to new grounds, Fickman was out of his league with the remake of 1975's Escape to Witch Mountain. The effects aren't too shabby, but the action scenes aren't spaced out enough during the middle to allow a breather. Often times you'll be asking yourself when they are going to stop blowing things up and provide detail on the children in the film to give you a better understanding about why you should care about the story.

Speaking on the children, AnnaSophia Robb (Bridge to Terabithia) and Alexander Ludwig (The Seeker: The Dark is Rising) don't have the greatest on-screen chemistry. Often times they are delivering dialogue that is inexpressive and un-emoted. AnnaSophia does a lot better when she's sharing time with Johnson on screen, but then again it's far too limited. By the end of the film, there's not much hope to build a rapport with the characters and you'll end up not caring for their wellbeing.

The rest of the cast, such as: Carla Gugino (Watchmen), Ciaran Hinds ("Rome"), and Chris Marquette (Fanboys) are wasted with restricted scenes where they only perform to the limit of their one-dimensional characters. This is ultimately where the problem lies with Race to Witch Mountain: it doesn't provide well-developed characters that are particularly interesting or liked. Johnson's Jack Bruno isn't expanded upon besides his criminal career, the alien children never give you any insight to be concerned about their fate, and Gugino's love interest for Johnson isn't attention-grabbing to the point you are rooting for her and Johnson to hook up by the end of the film.

Race to Witch Mountain is your run-of-the-mill children's action film with a fantasy theme to it. It's not nearly as fun or entertaining as the original for adults, but young boys will find some of the action scenes to be catered towards their liking. It's an action-packed film that is far too linear and predictable. The only saving face it has is its ability to stay away from vulgar language, sexual innuendo for the most part and inappropriate content for children. Race to Witch Mountain is basically a family film that parent's can safely know that their children won't be exposed to filthy material, but all the while will be scratching their head wondering why the film is so monotonous.

Director: Andy Fickman

Genre: Action/Adventure

Runtime: 1 hr 39 mins

Theatrical Release:Mar 13, 2009

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig, Carla Gugino